How to Deal with Anger

Anger is a natural and healthy emotion. But if it gets out of control, it can have dire consequences for our personal relationships, our health and our mood.

Two important elements can lead to a more peaceful life: being clear about the reasons why we are getting angry and learning effective ways to deal with outbursts of anger.

Learn to understand anger

The anger is not fundamentally good or bad. So the feeling itself is not the problem.  The problem is that people with strong personalities often have to express their anger and have to let it out. And that in turn affects people around them. But it is possible to learn how to express this emotion without harming others. If you succeed, you will not only feel better, it will also help you to better meet your needs.

Controlling one's anger is hard work. But with a little practice you get to the goal and the reward can be huge. Learning how to control your anger and how to express it properly can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and live a healthy, happy life.

How to deal with anger

Step 1: discover what's really behind your anger

If you feel like you're getting out of control, you need to find out why. Problems with anger are often the consequence of something you learned in your childhood. Then you react in a way that you have observed in other people around you. In such cases, it means picking up and accepting a certain idea of ​​how to express anger (e.g. yelling at someone, throwing things around, banging on something, slamming the door, yelling, etc.) If you If you have adopted this type of behavior, then traumatic events or high levels of stress can make you susceptible to anger and this behavior reappears.

Usually there are other feelings hidden behind the anger. If you feel angry, then ask yourself whether you are really angry or just show anger to cover up other emotions such as shame, insecurity, pain, and vulnerability.

As an adult, it may not be easy for you to experience feelings other than anger. This is particularly true if you grew up in an environment in which it was not welcome to express your feelings.

Step 2: recognize what triggers your anger and what warning signs there are

Before you literally explode with anger, there are warning signs in your body that you can watch and watch out for . Anger is a normal physical reaction. Therefore, pay attention to the warning signs that signal that you are about to burst with anger. Set up a few tactics that will help you deal with your anger before it gets out of control.

To be able to do this, you should pay attention to how anger is felt in your body . The following characters can appear:

1.       Lump in the abdomen

2.       tense your jaw or clench your fists

3.       faster breathing

4.       a headache

5.       the desire or need to run around

6.       Difficulty concentrating

7.       strong palpitations or rapid heartbeat

8.       Tension in your shoulders

Step 3: learn how to cool down

When you learn to recognize the warning signs of impending anger and its triggers, you can react quickly and address your anger before it gets out of control. There are many techniques that can help you come back down and put anger back under control. Here are some simple tips:

Focus on how your body feels during anger. Regularly focusing on what is going on in the body while you're angry helps reduce the emotional intensity of anger itself.

Take a few deep breaths. Breathing slowly and deeply helps to counteract the tension. The important thing is to breathe really deeply and out of your stomach and suck in as much air as possible.

Move. Exercise helps get rid of pent-up energy. Then you can approach the situation with a clear mind.

Use your senses. Use the relaxing effect your senses have: listen to music, visualize a place that calms you down.

Stretch or massage the areas that are under tension. Move your shoulders. Massage your scalp. It is important to relax exactly those areas of the body where the tension shows.

Count down slowly from ten. The goal of this technique is to activate the rational side of the brain and thus become clearer about your own feelings.

Step 4: Find a healthy way to express your anger

It is often simply necessary to let out all the anger that has built up in us. But it is crucial that you express your feelings in a healthy way. When communicated with respect and in the right way, anger can become a great source of energy and inspiration for change.