Social Media and Mental Health

Mental health and social networks - how do they go together?

Do Facebook, Instagram & Co. make you depressed? Or can they help you feel better? We spoke to experts

Many people can hardly imagine life without Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. But how does this constant analysis of other people's lives affect the psyche?

What is World Mental Health Day?

World Mental Health Day (October 10) was launched in 1992 on the initiative of the World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH) to highlight the importance of mental health and the growing number of people with mental health problems. In more than 150 countries, sufferers and experts are trying different ways to draw attention to mental illnesses and their major effects on people's lives worldwide.

Nowadays, in addition to increasing stress, the focus of Mental Health Day is above all on the many changes in life caused by digitization. It is also about the psyche of young people, which is often particularly stressed by digital change. Social media in particular, and its effects, are under the observation of psychology.

How can the use of social networks have a negative impact on the psyche?

The interaction of mental illnesses and the use of social networks has long been discussed. Studies show that looking intensely at Facebook posts or Instagram pictures of beautiful and happy people is counterproductive for the constitution when people are in a depressed phase. This increases the feeling of many: "Everyone is super and happy, only me not." Psychologists warn of the pulling effects of this media and advise people to stay away from the colorful network world and to look after themselves in acute psychological problems.

Psychotherapist Lena Kuhlmann says: "Contacts on social media can never completely replace real encounters: laughing together, eye contact, hugs and touches, swinging together - all of this is important for the psyche.

 Why some fitness influencers

In addition, the psychotherapist warns of content that can be disturbing: "Although these contributions are usually given a warning by their authors, nobody is really protected." If such a contribution appears in your own chronicle, it can leave its mark on the viewer.

There is the possibility to report them, but unfortunately they have already been published and can only be deleted afterwards." In the time until deletion, all of these posts can be seen.

How can social networks be used for mental health problems?

In addition to scary news, there are also completely different experiences. There is a friendly, supportive side of the social network that justifies its name: On the one hand, there are the many thousands of people who share their experiences and experiences with each other in Facebook groups on the subject of depression and fears, who support and encourage each other.

Other people affected report hundreds of thousands of followers daily via their Insta feed about how they are doing. B. have freed themselves from depression and give sufferers the courage not to give up, to seek help, to continue. They create a public awareness, new German: "Awareness", for this topic and help to ensure that it does not fall under the table in the beautiful glittering world of the net.

 It's pretty motivating and a nice feeling of community. There are also mindfulness tips, literature and film recommendations or encouraging sayings - there is something for everyone."

The therapist even uses the social networks for educational work. I can reach a lot of people relatively easily via Instagram and Facebook." There she also experiences how being on the road helps those affected: "Some users share their feelings and thoughts in an artistic way in pictures and text. This can be relieving and helpful for other people affected."

What do psychologists advise about using Facebook, Instagram and Co.?

Some experts warn against the use of social networks in times of psychological stress and in the case of a previous stress such as depression. Ultimately, it is always a question of which situation in which individual uses which networks and in which way. There is nothing that we can say everything is  "only good" or everything "only bad".

Rather, the question arises: is it just lonely, passive consumption - or is it an active, communicative, mindful behavior? The latter also includes going offline in moments of greater stress and taking care of yourself, your own life and not that of others.

Lena Kuhlmann says about dealing with social networks: "It is difficult to give a general advice about something because we are all different and mental illnesses can always have different effects. The first step may be ourselves and what is good for us to watch and take care

Instagram plans to incorporate this option for self-monitoring as an integrated function. The operators of the large networks are also aware of the possible problems and are trying to ensure that "the time people spend on social networks is conscious, positive.

For sensitive topics, there are, for example, tips for self-help, contact with telephone counseling and the opportunity to contact friends. Counter-productive contributions, such as calls for self-harm, are removed by the operator when these are reported.

Ultimately, however, users must find the ideal form of use for themselves.

Tips for Mental Fitness

Tips for mental fitness

• Sharpen your senses: do a blind tasting and taste what you eat and drink very consciously. Or sit on a comfortable environment  and close your eyes and feel the peace and harmony. What are you listening to?

• Stay flexible: Brush your teeth with your left hand as a right-handed person or try to write something with your left hand.

• Make a note of sequences: Before you go anywhere by train or bus, take a look at the timetable and visualize the individual stations. While driving, you can then check whether you still know the stations in the correct order. This also works when driving with motorway exits or place names.

• Go shopping without a list: consciously leave your shopping list in your pocket and try to remember everything in the store. Only check the goods in the shopping basket when you think you have all the items and compare how many things you have really remembered.

• Practice mental arithmetic: mental arithmetic is an excellent memory exercise. You don't have to come up with complicated bills, you can easily integrate this into your everyday life. For example, the next time you shop, try the prices of all the individual goods in your store

• Add shopping carts or calculate the average speed of your trip to the supermarket by calculating the kilometers traveled by the time used.

• Memorize new things: Pick up a song text and try to memorize it in a given time. Then try to write down everything you have learned. The comparison shows you how much you have really remembered. Learning by heart is an excellent memory exercise. And next time you can sing along with your favorite songs on the radio with the deepest voice.

• Miter jogging for everyday life: As you know, you are never too old for games. It is all the better if you can also improve your memory and concentration while playing. Here are a few games listed for you, some of which you can play alone or with others. You may also know one or two things from your childhood.

How to Improve amd Sharp Memory

7 simple tips for better memory

Mental fitness essentially depends on our lifestyle: the healthier we live, the better our memory. These simple tips will help you improve your memory.

Do you sometimes go to the kitchen very purposefully to do something important, but forget what it was on the way and then simply stare at the fridge for a moment as if you could find the answer between vegetables and yoghurt pots? In the supermarket, the shopping list does not keep us away from the ice cream counter, but we would probably be completely stuck without it. And without the subtle memory of social networks, we would easily forget the birthdays of some family members!

It is normal that you are not quite on a mental level before your morning coffee - and the little bit of stupidness in between makes us endearing. Nevertheless, all of our dearest memories are attached to our memory, which only make us who we are. Reason enough to declare war on increasing forgetfulness!

7 ways to improve memory

The good news is that we can influence our memory performance to some extent. Effective memory training does not start with chess and sudoku, but with our everyday behavior. The way we live, what we eat and drink, and how we treat our body affects our fitness and well-being as well as our memory. Here are 7 everyday things you can use to sharpen your memory:

• Reduce your stress level.

Urgent deadlines, irrelevant discussions and anger about unimportant little things keep our subconscious constantly on the go. No chance to focus his thoughts there and to get the full memory! But worse are constant feelings of fear, which can worsen the entire memory. For your sake, just switch down a gear! Deep breathing in and out, mediation and yoga can do a lot. In general, try to go through life more attentively.

• Treat yourself to restful sleep

People who sleep poorly at night tend to be more forgetful than those with a deep, sound sleep. But sleeping well is necessary in order to correctly save the memories of the day and to shift them from short-term to long-term memory. Nevertheless: hands away from sleeping pills & Co.! Because many medications for sleep disorders can affect your memory and brain functions. Therefore, you should only use medication in an emergency and keep the period as short and the dose as low as possible. For a long-lasting restful sleep, it can already help to put the sport on the morning hours, to maintain a regular sleep rhythm and to create a calm atmosphere in the bedroom at a room temperature of 15 to 18 degrees.

• Stop smoking

Easier said than done! But if you smoke more than two packs of cigarettes a day between the ages of 40 and 60, you double your risk of developing dementia later. Nevertheless, there is hope: if you smoke less than half a box a day or even stop using it until mid-life, the risk of dementia will gradually decrease to the level of non-smokers.

• If alcohol, then in moderation

Not only is the liver attacked by excessive alcohol consumption, but also the brain. If a lot of alcohol flows in one evening, the neurons' messenger substances can no longer dock to the brain cells. The result: short-term memory loss, better known as a film tear. Long-term consumption also damages long-term memory, nerve cells die and the overall performance of the brain drops. The spatial orientation, language skills and feelings are also affected. These 7 (positive) things happen when you take a break from drinking

• Eat smart

Even with the right nutrition, memory can be pushed in the long term. Because the brain needs a lot of energy for concentration and memory, complex carbohydrates are necessary. These can be found in wholemeal bread, oatmeal, fruit and vegetables. However, it is particularly important to drink a lot so that the head and body are adequately oxygenated and well supplied with blood. Experts recommend 2 to 3 liters of water or unsweetened tea a day.

•  Sport is doping for the brain

Regular exercise is not only good for the body, it also has a positive effect on your brain. Studies show that exercise not only improves concentration and memory, but can also prevent dementia. Are particularly effective for this ndurance sports such as running, walking, hiking or swimming - half an hour a day is enough. Through physical exertion, the brain is supplied with more blood, concentration and memory increase, and new brain cells can even form reasons to start running

•  Protect your brain from injury

Severe external head injuries are the main cause of memory loss, according to Harvard Medical School. It is therefore important to always protect your head with a suitable helmet when doing contact sports or such at high speed - such as inline skating, cycling, motorcycle or skiing. The seat belt when driving a car also reduces the risk of serious head injury massively injure, because car accidents are by far the most common cause of brain injuries. Therefore: Please always buckle up!
Increasing memory performance can be easy
Our memories are among the most valuable things we have - after all, they make us who we are. It is therefore all the more important to preserve them and to protect our memory in the long term. Even small changes in habits in favor of a healthy lifestyle can also make a difference for our precious memories.

Learning Tips for Student

Effective learning tips

No question: you need time to learn. We are aware that this is particularly difficult for you in your everyday care routine. Therefore we want to give you some tips on how you can learn as effectively as possible!

Understanding, keeping and correctly applying new learning material does not happen overnight.

Here we want to give you some tips for learning.

• Attention in class

Actually logical and easy to implement:

I no longer have to rework everything that I heard, understood and practiced in class. This also shortens the preparation time for the next school assignment. So keep your eyes and ears open during class and ask questions if you don't understand something.

• Capture long texts quickly

As a pupil, you often have to deal with longer texts: for example for a presentation, for a summary or the like. There are a few tricks on how to get to the most important information quickly in longer texts:

• Selective reading

You will quickly scan a long text without reading it word for word. Rather, you quickly search the text for important keywords - you “scan” it with your eyes. You can write down the most important keywords. So you get a first impression of what the text is about.

• Underline and highlight

The most important keywords in the text are underlined or highlighted with a light pen. This gives the text a very personal structure and does not appear as long.

• Pick out and summarize

Long texts are not for memorizing, but for working with them. It is therefore advisable to write out the most important statements in the text. It is best if you formulate and summarize the summarized statements in your own words. Depending on your preference or the further use of the text, you summarize the key messages for learning on a piece of paper. Or you can write them down on index cards with which you can learn well later.

The advantage: So you shorten the long text to the essentials. Through your own summaries, you have already dealt intensively with the content and completed an important learning step.

• Use idle time for learning

How often do you stand at the bus stop and wait for the bus or the subway? Or you sit with the doctor and wait for your turn You can use such times very well to learn vocabulary or to repeat the biology.

The prerequisite for this is, of course, that you have your learning material with you. Small-format index cards are suitable for this. The vocabulary or technical term comes on the front. On the back the translation or explanation. The following also applies here: creating the index cards is not a superfluous task, but an important learning step.

Learn with concentration

Sitting at a desk for two hours is not learning. Those who concentrate exactly on what they are doing, e.g. Doing homework or studying is quicker than someone who constantly looks at the cell phone, listens to music and dreams. If you want to finish your school assignments quickly, the best thing to do is to agree a fixed time schedule with yourself: “Now I will complete the math exercises for half an hour, then I will write my German essay for half an hour and at the end I will learn 15 more minutes of Latin vocabulary ”. During the agreed time, you should then concentrate and work without distraction. If that works well, you can treat yourself to a short break between the individual work packages as a reward.

•  Learn pictorially

Some people learn more easily and therefore faster with pictorial material and visualizations. This means that it is much easier to keep learning content in the form of images or graphics, rather than as text. Perhaps it is similar to you, then e.g. the so-called Mindmap method: on a large sheet of paper, a topic is recorded figuratively and in a logical structure. Arrows, connecting lines and keywords clearly represent the learning material.

Another option is the learning poster. Here too, the content to be learned is written on a poster in as concise a form as possible. Regardless of whether vocabulary, grammar rules, certain calculation methods, etc. Important here: The contents of the learning poster are summarized and written as large as possible on a poster. Images, highlights, symbols, etc. can now illustrate the content. The learning poster comes to a place where you often see it: over the desk or on the door of the room. This way, you can memorize content practically on the side. However, you also have to look at it.

Themes and Interprestations of Dreams

Interpretation of dreams and the most common themes

Since ancient times, the study of dreams has been of interest to many people seeking to perfect their understanding and the interpretation of dreams is considered a great and powerful gift.

Consider the story of Joseph in the Bible where he was favored by the pharaoh because of his gift of dream interpretation and prophecy. In fact, he made Joseph a rich and powerful man! Developing skills and deciphering coded messages in dreams is both fun and rewarding.

Common symbols and themes

Dreams are as unique and different for each individual. However, we often find ourselves in some common symbols and themes. Here are some examples:

You are late or you miss a plane, an appointment, a meeting

Elisa Robyn explains that dreams are often made when you have to get up early to get on a plane.

• You fly

"It means you are achieving your goals. You do things that lead to success. Everything is open to you. It’s really good to dream of flying.

• You are in a car out of control

To interpret this dream, pay attention to the person behind the wheel, advises Lauri Quinn Loewenberg.  What are you trying to control at this time? What are you trying to change direction without doing?

• You are having a good time with an ex

That means you can't stop thinking about your ex ... but it's not necessarily mutual. "This absolutely does not mean that the person wants you to come back," warns Linda Lauren. But rather that you’re obsessed with this person you’ve dated and you can’t move on. ”

• Teeth

Teeth can symbolize our appearance and power. We smile with our teeth and use them to help us speak. Dreams of teeth or unhealthy teeth falling out of the mouth could indicate a lack of confidence, difficulty for others or even telling lies.

• Steal

Flying is always an interesting theme. Depending on the context of the dream, this could mean taking a big risk or cruising along the adventure. Dreams of theft are usually linked to feelings of fear and / or freedom in life.

Feeling like you're falling is also a common dream. This experience is physically caused by muscle contractions and spasms during the early sleep phases.

• Chased

Dreams of being chased or chased can be scary. The dreamer often experiences "fight or flight". These dreams often suggest that there is stress and anxiety in your life.

• Appear Naked

Nudity in a dream usually refers to a feeling of insecurity or vulnerability. The fear of being discovered or "caught with your pants down" are highlighted in these dreams. In some cases, you may feel comfortable being naked which shows that you are ready to "be naked."

• To pass tests

Taking tests symbolizes self-confidence and preparation. These dreams ask, "Are you being tested. There may also be challenges in your life that affect your self-esteem. .

• Animals

Different animals can also appear in dreams. Snakes, spiders, dogs, cats and birds are just a few examples. Each can represent both positive and negative aspects.

• Snakes for example can symbolize threats, but also regeneration and renewal.

• Spiders and their webs can symbolize deception, but also attendance and creativity.

• Cats often represent independence, but can also symbolize unhappiness.

• Birds are the symbol of freedom, but can mean disappointment if they are dying or falling from the sky.

In conclusion :

There are thousands of possible interpretations of dreams. One of the best resources is a dream dictionary. A dream dictionary is an alphabetical list of many words related to dreams. You just look at the meaning of the object and get a brief description. There are even dream dictionaries available online. Just try to look into dream interpretation or a dream dictionary.

Once you have an idea of ​​the symbol and its meaning, then you can apply it to your individual dream. Think about what's going on in your personal life and try to understand how it relates to your dream.

Take the following dream example: A person dreams of taking a big exam, but gets lost in the school building and fears of being late for the test. Suddenly, a dog appears in the hallway and the dreamer follows to the correct room.

Suppose the dreamer has a job interview or the upcoming presentation during his ie awake. The dream could indicate feelings of being judged and questioned during the process. The dog most likely represents a good supportive friend who is there to listen and help.

Dream interpretation can be confusing at times. Sometimes we are too close to our own situations and cannot be objective. In this case, it might be useful to consult a friend, someone psychic or more experienced in the interpretation of dreams.

Even the journaling of your dreams can help provide insight. A good idea is to keep a journal on the nightstand and record your dreams when you wake up. Above all consider dream interpretation a way to explore your mind and learn about yourself. Sweet dreams!

Phobias( Causes, Symptoms, Treatment)

Phobia is an anxiety disorder that is accompanied by intense fear and avoidance of frightening objects or situations. Avoidance is manifested when a person tries not to approach objects of fear. For example, a person does not go to the dentist when his teeth hurt, or does not fly on airplanes when he wants to relax. To summarize this definition, we can say that if a person is afraid, then this is fear, if he is afraid and avoids it is a phobia. From the fear of castration to conditioned reflexes: a history of the study of phobias.

Phobias began to be studied in the late XIX - early XX centuries. Freud described a phobic neurosis in his analysis of the phobia of a five-year-old boy in 1909. Little Hans often played horseback with his father. Once, on the street, he saw a live horse fall, and it frightened him so much that he began to fear these animals and clearly avoid meeting them - which was difficult at the beginning of the 20th century. Reflecting on why the horse incident caused frustration, Freud concluded that fear of castration was hidden behind phobic avoidance. Hans was in the oedipal phase of development, when the child’s attraction to the mother and his father’s fear worsened, and the phobia became a protective mechanism protecting the boy from conflict with his father.

At the same time, behaviorists developed psychology as an experimental science, and as part of an experiment in 1919, the father of behaviorism George Watson and his assistant Rosalie Reiner artificially formed a phobia in a nine-month-old boy. The scientist showed the child a white rat, accompanying it with a loud and unpleasant sound. As a result, the boy developed a fear and avoidance of a white rat, which spread to other soft and fluffy objects.

The experiment showed that a phobia is formed by a combination of conditioned and unconditioned stimuli. In the case of the Watson and Reiner experiment, the conditioned stimulus was a rat, which in itself did not cause fear in the child, and the unconditioned one was a loud sound, causing an unconditioned reflex. Why did the fear caused by the loud sound spread to the rat? The mechanism of classical conditioning worked, described by physiologist Ivan Pavlov. When experimenting with dogs, he noticed that the salivation reflex works not only when the animal begins to eat, but also when it only sees a bowl or hears the footsteps of a person bringing food. If you ring the bell during feeding, after a few repetitions, its sound will also begin to cause salivation.

What could be a source of phobia

Phobic disorder is included in the anxiety disorder registry. Among its manifestations, three clusters can be distinguished.

• Specific phobias - fear of specific phenomena or situations. The most common phobias of spiders, snakes and heights. Specific phobias are further divided into groups: animal phobias, natural phenomena, special situations (eg, claustrophobia), blood and medical interventions.

• Social phobias are the most severe in their consequences for the quality of life. People with such phobias experience a threat to their "I" and avoid social interactions, which limits their choice of lifestyle, opportunities to develop and be successful.

• Finally, agoraphobia is often associated with panic disorder. People are afraid of a recurrence of a panic attack, especially there where they will not be able to get help. This is not so much a fear of open spaces as a fear of being far from home or loved ones in a place where something bad happens - for example, it becomes bad with your heart, a panic attack occurs, and pressure rises.

• personality characteristic, like neuroticism, which to some extent reflects the increased reactivity of the limbic structures of the brain in response to stimuli. It was shown that when a person suffering from phobia interacts with frightening stimuli, a certain neuroanatomical structure is activated, which includes the insula, the anterior cingulate cortex, the amygdala, the prefrontal and orbitofrontal cortex. In patients with phobias, these areas of the brain are activated more strongly than in representatives of the control group.

• secondly, psychological vulnerability - all kinds of mistakes in thinking. For example, catastrophy is an exaggeration of the likelihood that something will go wrong. Or black-and-white thinking - when everything that is imperfect is perceived as a failure.

he experiences phobic reactions in significant adults; he often assimilates such behaviors and, as it were, “becomes infected” from them by fear. Macrosocial influences at the level of society, culture, state. For example, the way the media covers certain topics, from cancer treatment to disaster investigation, can provoke phobic behavior (carcinophobia, aerophobia).

What are the similarities and differences between phobias and PTSD?

If a person experiences a traumatic experience - sexual violence or a threat to life - then the consequence may be post-traumatic stress disorder or some of its symptoms. One of them is the avoidance of stimuli associated with trauma, similar in its mechanisms of avoidance to a phobic disorder.

The difference is that the object of the phobia could not be experienced by a person as a real threat to life, that is, not be a traumatic experience, and also that with phobias the experiences come to life when they meet the object of the phobia (in reality or imagination), while with PTSD they can occur spontaneously, like flashes in memory (flashbacks) and without a real reminder of the injury.

People differ in their phobic experiences. In some, they manifest themselves more strongly, while others cope with them more easily. People are different, but we are all a product of evolution, during which phobias were even useful because they protected us from dangers (like poisonous insects and snakes). Therefore, evolutionary psychologists consider phobic behavior as adaptive.

Some studies in clinical psychology are devoted to the study of the characteristics of mental processes in individuals with certain disorders. People with specific.

How phobias are treated

• The longer a person avoids a fearful object or situation, the more difficult it is to fight a phobia. Some people cope with their phobias themselves, especially if they have the resource to periodically refuse to avoid, but sometimes the help of a specialist is required.

• To reduce the excitement associated with the experience of fear, and to help the patient get closer to the object of phobia, tranquilizers and antidepressants are used. And then systematic desensitization or cognitive-behavioral therapy is connected.

• Systematic desensitization is a method based on gradual addiction. Person offer a phobic situation or object "in a small dosage" and gradually increase this "dose". For example, if a patient is afraid to ride the subway, he first goes with a psychotherapist, then he passes one station on his own, then two and so on, being in the discomfort zone for as long as he can bear. Modern reviews of studies on the effectiveness of psychotherapy indicate the greatest productivity of this approach.

• In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the emphasis is on the cognitive component: the therapist helps to correct incorrect thinking, dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs. In my experience, people most often turn to psychotherapy, either in the case of social phobia, when they are afraid to be among people, or in the case of agoraphobia, which is associated with panic disorder, the fear of being far from possible help.

Do xenophobia and homophobia belong to the phobia class?

Phobias are psychological and psychiatric phenomena that are classified as anxiety disorders. The criterion of mental disorder is the presence of subjective suffering combined with a restriction in the quality of life and a request for help Massive social phenomena such as xenophobia and homophobia are not mental disorders. The criterion is simple: who suffers from the manifestation of a phobia, whose standard of living is declining? People suffering from real phobias on the anxiety disorder registry often cannot travel, speak in public, or leave home. But xenophobia and homophobia do not suffer from xenophobia or homophobia, but the people around them - homosexuals or people of other nationalities.

Psychological Facts About Love

• You will meet a really cool person with whom you want everything - family, children, and old age - only when you yourself are cool. If you meet dull, uninteresting or evil, then most likely you yourself are. Like attracts like.

• Often people fall in love with those about whom they thought at the very beginning: "Well, this is not my type."

• Gathering with a person is a dangerous step. Do not rush. The candy-bouquet period is magnificent, try to extend it, you will have time to get together.

• Having a pet is an even more crucial step than buying a car together. You will love the pet both, and if you have to leave, you can’t divide it in two. It’s definitely worth the time with pets.

• If at the moment you do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, this is definitely not a reason for sadness. This is an occasion not to deny yourself anything, for example, you can embark on unrestrained fun on a Thai beach with all the consequences. You can never afford anything like this while being in a relationship. Enjoy and do not waste your energy searching for a half, you will find it by yourself.

• First love is very cool. This is not to be confused with anything, and even for this feeling there are few words, it can not be described. When you really fall in love, you will understand it.

• The most interesting and memorable sex will be with your loved one. No matter how skillful and inventive your partner may be, if you do not love, everything will be fresh and far from ideal.

• There should not be frequent disputes and quarrels in a relationship. If they are, if you swear to tantrums, broken dishes and tears, then this is not a relationship, but nonsense. For a long time both of you at this pace will not be enough. It may sound boring, but relationships should be a quiet haven where you can relax and breathe out.

• A good couple is one where people for each other are not just lovers, but partners. They can lean on each other, they care about each other. If you want, they are better friends.

• A little more about the fact that men and women are different. A woman integrates into the life of her partner easier and faster, she is easily liked by his friends and girlfriend's friends, his parents. And it’s more difficult for a guy to integrate into a girl’s life. This is slower. If this fact is kept in mind, many quarrels and troubles can be avoided.

• If you are good at presenting your soul mate as a crooked old man or old woman with large moles and hairs from them, then all is well. Your relationship has a great prognosis.

• For any relationship, this balm is jokes and pranks. If you manage to laugh together at tears at one another or at third-party things, then you will be enough for a very, very long period of time, even for a lifetime.

• If you feel that life is starting to jam, take a taxi, go to the bar with fun music and skip a glass or two of something strong. It helps.

• Intimacy is wonderful. Walking around the house in a stretched old T-shirt and knowing the smallest features of each other is cool.

• Everywhere you need a line. If one of you goes to the toilet while the second is washing in the same room in the shower, perhaps the line has already been crossed, and this is not very good. Do not treat each other as pieces of furniture.

• Associative thinking can greatly spoil life after parting. Most likely, a couple of cool songs, a couple of establishments in the city and, possibly, a couple of mutual friends will forever leave her. But this can be experienced.

• The best way to check whether it’s time to leave or not is to imagine that there is a certain button, pressing which removes person from your life instantly, without tears and talking. Once - that's all. If there was such a button, would you click on it? If so, then it’s really time to leave

• Love can pass simply because people have changed. This is not fatal. You felt good together, but now you are out of the way.

Extrovert Personality (Extrovert Child)

Extroverts pay more attention to the face than introverts, according to a recent study. The results of the study show that the brains of extroverted individuals pay more attention to human faces than introverts. In fact, the minds of introverts did not seem to distinguish between inanimate objects and human expressions. The findings may explain in part why extroverts seek the company of other people more than introverts, or why a particularly shy person may prefer the company of a good book than a group of friends. This study also emphasizes the fact that latent neural differences in people's brains contribute to the formation of their personality. According to researcher Inna Fishman of the Salk Institute for Biological Sciences in La Hoya, California, “This is further evidence that personality is not just a psychological concept. There is a broader explanation for the behaviors you see. Implying that there are nerve bases for different personality types. ”

The personality of the brain

There are several terms to describe one's character - talkative, anxious, hardworking, organized, etc. Psychologists have found that many of these traits often coexist and have grouped these traits into five primary categories - extroversion, neuroticism, compliance, awareness, and open perception.

Extroversion has to do with how people interact with others. Extroverted people like to be surrounded by other people and generally enjoy social gatherings, while for introverts the opposite is true. Previous studies have shown that extroverted people also tend to be more assertive, experience more positive emotions and generally get more out of rewards.

However, no one has yet looked at whether extroverted people are more sensitive to stimuli that are more related to social situations, such as other people's faces.

To complete their research, Fishman and her colleagues sought the help of 28 participants aged 18-40 whose personality ranged from introverted to less introverted and very extroverted. Placed electrodes on the participants' heads recorded electrical activity in their brains, a technique known as electroencephalography or EEG.

The researchers studied a specific change in the electrical activity of the brain known as P300. The change, which appears as a deviation in a person's electroencephalogram, can be caused by specific activities or a change in the environment, such as when the room is very quiet and suddenly a loud sound is heard. The brain's response occurs within 300 milliseconds before the person becomes aware of the change.

In order to trigger the P300, Fishman used a method known as "eccentric work," in which participants see a series of very similar images, such as a bunch of blue cars, and then suddenly, a slightly different one appears. image like a red car.

In this experiment, individuals saw a series of male faces and every now and then a female face appeared. They were also shown photos with purple flowers while in the meantime photos with yellow flowers were displayed.

Faces or flowers?

Participants with the highest score on the extroversion test showed a higher P300 response in human faces. In other words, extroverted people pay more attention to human faces (the P300 can be seen as an indicator of human attention, or an indicator of how quickly the mind perceives a change).

Extroverted children - Tomorrow's leaders?

If you were told that you would know an extroverted person, what would be the first image you would form in your mind about him? Most of us would expect to meet a very friendly and sociable person. While this may have been a reality, the definition of extroversion is a little different. The extrovert is characterized by the way he draws and fills energy when he is with other people. It is essentially the opposite of the introvert, who when in social situations feels his energy exhausted.

Extroverted people get hurt easily when they are not surrounded by other people and seem to lose interest when they are alone. At the first opportunity, they will seek discussion with someone, avoiding loneliness. Unlike introverts, who think before they speak, extroverted people think while talking because that's how their thinking works best. In order to feel something as a reality, they have to discuss it and Extroverted people seek social status and enjoy socializing with other people. They are interested in interacting with the world and engaging with it. For this reason, they seem to be much more socially experienced than introverts.

The characteristics of the extroverted child:

Well-known psychologist Carl Jung was the first to introduce the terms introversion and extroversion to describe people's personalities. These categories are not intended to label people, but to describe our personality traits. According to Jung, all people are born with specific characteristics that we later display in our lives, either consciously or not. But what are the characteristics of an extroverted child?

• He enjoys socialization. The extroverted child is recognized mainly by the way he communicates with other people. He can very easily and happily approach other children his age or even older without hesitation. He enjoys being in groups and interacting with them - this is the main feature that makes him look very friendly and sociable.
• He tends to get bored easily. Extroverted children have lower rates of arousal, which means they need more stimuli to keep their interest undiminished. They usually look for contact with other people to feel that they are busy with something. When left alone, they can easily get bored and want to find other people to communicate with. For these reasons they are often described as impatient and anxious.

• She is very active. Extroverted children are constantly looking for energy sources that will give them brain and physical stimulation. Sometimes they show endless energy and may find it difficult to sit quietly in one place.

• She is happy and optimistic. Most extroverted children are by nature positive people. They have pleasant personalities and always seem to be in a good mood - a trait that easily attracts people close to them.

• He is convinced. Because they have a strong sense of self-confidence, they can easily persuade others.

• He is very curious and constantly.

• He is usually a competitive child and prefers to lead a team.

Possible possibilities they may have:

• They usually have a very good self-esteem that is hard to shake.
• They have natural leadership skills.
• They have logical and rational thinking.
• They are easily socialized.
• Most of the time they have great ambitions and know how to make money.

• When they are interested in something, they have the ability to become the best at it and succeed.

Possible weaknesses that may have:

• Sometimes they easily hurt others because they don't understand their feelings.

• They can become extremely dominant and controlling with others,
• They break out and get angry easily.
• They may be arrogant.
• They see things from their own point of view and do not easily recognize someone else's point of view.

Sometimes they make quick decisions without much thought.

They tend to make a fuss and sometimes become aggressive, resulting in quarrels.

The role of parents:

Accept and appreciate the child for what he is. If the child is social and enjoys the company of friends, take advantage of opportunities for socializing. Remember that extroverted children have a strong need to express themselves through physical activity.

Act as a positive role model for the behaviors you want to see most of the child. For example, you may need to show him how to put himself in the other person's shoes and how to better control his outbursts and emotions, as well as how to respect the opinions of others, even if he does not agree.

Strengthen and encourage your strengths. For example, help the child see how he can use his leadership skills creatively in different groups.

The characteristics of each personality have to do with the way we process the world and no one can easily say that one personality is better than the other. The problem would be if we put labels on the children according to their characteristics. Even if we inadvertently put the sign of the extrovert or the introvert on the child, we would treat him differently. If we tell a child that he is shy or social, he is more likely to behave in such a way as to make these characteristics even more pronounced.

Awareness of your child's personality traits is a tool to know how he can respond to the world around him. An introverted child may prefer to play alone and an extroverted child may need more attention and time for entertainment. This does not mean that these children will always react in this way in their lives or that they cannot change and develop other characteristics as they grow up.

Friendship Facts

Friendship: 9 clues that distinguish good friends

What we mean by friendship varies from person to person. Especially since there are different types of friendships:

• Loose friendships
• Best friends (modern also BFF s - Best friends forever )
• Special purpose communities ( temporary ) 
• Friendship plus (here comes sex, also abbreviated as " F + " or friends with benefits )

Even researchers are struggling with a definition to this day. The philosopher Aristotle once called friendship "one soul in two bodies". It is pretty good.

Friendship could also be defined as a voluntary, personal relationship based on mutual sympathy , trust , selflessness and support. However, this is also not entirely clear.

Good to know: the terms friendship and kinship were even used synonymously until the 17th century. This original meaning has been preserved in some dialects to this day. The same can be said for the term blood friendship , which originally also means kinship.

At least one thing is certain: the desire for friends is innate to us. Friendships are formed already in childhood , when playing in the sandpit with the "favorite playmate" or on vacation. Others later in puberty doing sports or at school. Still other friendships arise as adults from study and professional contacts.  The friendships that remain with us often develop into an intimate connection - and are thus the beginning of something wonderful that has accompanied us for a lifetime: deep friendship and familiarity. Because these people know our true self.  It is not uncommon for a friendship like this to last longer than the relationship with our life or spouse . No wonder: If you have friends , you can be shown  to be happier, happier, more balanced - even healthier.

Unfortunately, we often only recognize a true friendship in emergencies - when we really need it. Fortunately, there are a few verifiable indications beforehand as to whether our acquaintances and contacts are real or false friends . A total of nine of these signs can be found in the following (striking) graphics. Admittedly, these are sometimes high demands . Friendship must therefore endure that these cannot always be fulfilled at all times. We should be able to go through “thick and thin” with our friends. But sometimes it just doesn't work. Friends are also just people - with mistakes, weaknesses and shortcomings.

Friendships begin: How friends become friends

How do friendships develop? And when do we call a friend "friend"?

The questions have already been asked by scientists, psychologists and sociologists: 

1. It takes at least 50 hours together to become a "friend" and a "friend". 
2. Another 90 hours are necessary to change from a "friend" to a "good friend".
3. And it takes a whole 200 hours to get together so that they become “best friends”.
4. But the most important result was that spending time together was crucial.

The internet and social media such as Facebook, Instagram or Youtube have made it easier to meet new people. Online chats or emails have little or no influence on the quality of the friendship. In order for true friendships or best friends to develop from it, we have to spend real and physical time together. Only then does something like kinship develop , sociologists say.

The circle of friendships that deserve this name is correspondingly narrow. Often much smaller than we think !

Just imagine how many people you would call friends ... and now please divide this number by two!

Only about half of the people we count as friends would say the same about us, the research says. "Friendship, as we call it . The proportion of mutual friendships fluctuates regularly between 34 and 53 percent .

 This may also have to do with the fact that the knowledge of a one-sided friendship " scratches our self- image ." 

5 tips on how to make new friends

A friendship does not always survive crises or (spatial) changes. Moving to another city or starting a family can break a friendship. Then you have to find new friends.

However, it is not easy for everyone to find new friends immediately. Some people are naturally shy or reserved and have problems approaching other people and making small talk . So here are five tips for you on how to make new friends (including shy ones):

• Get active

As long as you don't send signals or actively approach other people, nothing happens. Of course, you decide what this activity looks like: If you don't have the courage to do so, you can start by making contacts in the chat. There are enough forums for different interests. No matter whether you like sewing, cooking or want to exchange music.

At some point, however, these contacts should be brought into reality - sharing hobbies with someone who lives 300 kilometers away won't help you much in everyday life.

By the way, dog owners have an advantage here: Often you get to talk about the pet and its quirks. Other options are sport in clubs or VHS courses where you can exchange ideas with others.

• Show interest

At the beginning of a friendship it is about getting to know the other person better. So ask if someone tells you something. The more you know about each other, the sooner you can refer to them later.

In this way, you signal interest in the person you are talking to. Maybe your colleague said at some point that he wanted to buy a new kitchen - a perfect hanger to follow up and maybe even contribute with tips.

Conversely, caution should be exercised when it comes to polarizing issues such as religion, salary, politics - even supposedly harmless topics such as food or child-rearing can prove to be a minefield if you dogmatically advocate your opinion. A fundamental openness to other views is not wrong.

• Be friendly with others

Smile, say hello - preferably by name. This gives others the feeling that they are not only “somehow” perceived, but that they are important to them. Those who appear friendly towards others appear sympathetic and positive. And you prefer to surround yourself with positive, friendly people rather than with grouchy people who don't utter a word.

The important thing here is that you don't have to pretend to someone that you don't feel. You should treat unappealing contemporaries with the required courtesy, but nothing more. On the other hand, those who are exuberantly friendly to someone they don't really like appear hypocritical and untrustworthy.

• Help others

Your friend is moving? A neighbor is desperately looking for a babysitter? The colleague can't look out of sight because of all the work? Such opportunities are ideal for offering his support to others. Those who have previously shown themselves accessible are more likely to be addressed.

Because if your counterpart is not completely blunt, most people feel a natural inhibition when it comes to asking near strangers for a favor. The first step is to show that you are accommodating, because this increases the chances that this person will return the favor.

• Praise the other

When you watch other people, what qualities do you notice about them that you find good? What can you learn from it? There is a positive double effect here: On the one hand, you should give praise to characteristics, skills or behavior in situations that you advocate.

Everyone likes compliments, so this encouragement will make you sympathetic. On the other hand, your nature reflects the behavior of the person whose friendship you want to win if you act similarly. This is how you create common ground that connects. 

False friends: when should it end?

A friendship can be beautiful and fulfilling - unfortunately it can also develop negatively. What connects can also disappear. Regular exchange is important to maintain the basis of trust . But it is not a guarantee of lasting friendship.

Some friendships break down over time. In some cases, interests just change - and you kind of live apart . There is no "official end", the contact simply falls asleep.

In other cases, the end is accompanied by violent arguments, bad words, a feeling of betrayal and disappointment (in the literal sense).

Last but not least, what unites friends is a common code of values . A kind of unwritten law, what they expect from each other and what they rely on. A one-sided (but one-off) break can give a friendship a deep crack. A crack that may never be bridged again.

If someone feels permanently betrayed, the friendship will soon be over. Most would then describe their former companions as " false friends ". Rightly so.

In fact, there are also signals and signs for when it is better to end a friendship and " break up ". For example then ...

•       If you are exploited.

You have often proven your help, helped with moving, comforted (even in the middle of the night), you were there. But now you need support - but no answer: "No time!" "It fits very badly!" , It says succinctly. If this happens more often, you should consider carefully whether give and take are still balanced in this friendship.

•       If you are not supported.

We can only cope with some situations and phases of life with the help of good friends. Fatalities and deaths, for example. Or when the job eats you up, you become unemployed or when the relationship with your partner breaks down. At times like this we want someone who listens to us, gives good advice, consoles, helps. But if you are looking for space in our most difficult days, in times of greatest need and making yourself scarce, you cannot be a friend. Because what distinguishes him from fleeting acquaintances? You can and shouldn't do without good weather friends.

•       If you are cheated.

Probably the worst betrayal is when the boyfriend or girlfriend steals your partner. Or when your own (alleged) friends talk badly about you or even intrigue behind your back. Then it’s like a low blow. We expect - and rightly so - loyalty and honesty from a friendship. If both are missing, you should separate.

•       If you live in constant competition.

Do you know that? Hardly do you tell of a sense of achievement, do you hear a story that somehow tops your thing and puts it in the shade ?! You never have the feeling that your friend is happy with you. It's all about being better yourself. A clear case of resentment . Honestly, do you need someone in your life who only competes with you and wonders who is better?

•       When you become unimportant.

Of course, a friend can also do something different. However, if you are constantly transferred and the other person makes no effort to keep in touch with you or suggests an alternative date, the priorities have obviously shifted. Your friendship is no longer the first priority. A saying modified by Confucius says: What you love, let go. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't come back, you never heard it. You can also do without such friendships.

Overall, however, it is worth investing in friends and friendships and maintaining these relationships. Everyone agrees. Because those who have good friends and many friendships can get through life more easily.